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Sunday, January 30, 2011

don’t think twice, it’s all right

Thursday, January 27, 2011

and you never hoped, so you never lost
"Human life must be some kind of mistake. The truth of this will be sufficiently obvious if we only remember that man is a compound of needs and necessities hard to satisfy; and that even when they are satisfied, all he obtains is a state of painlessness, where nothing remains to him but abandonment to boredom. This is direct proof that existence has no real value in itself; for what is boredom but the feeling of the emptiness of life?" Arthur Schopenhauer (tamburina)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

"I can’t stand the sight of these people who think they’re so happy. [...] And yet because they can’t see it themselves, the utter futility of it all, they are indeed fortunate and for that I love them."

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Sing to me
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go

There is another world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well

Bye

The Smiths - Asleep

Monday, January 24, 2011

to sink is to swim

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

last night i dreamt
that somebody loved me
And though I know that my actions are impossible to justify, they seem adequate to fill up my time.
And if I could talk to myself like I was someone else, well then maybe I could take your advice.
And I wouldn’t act like such an asshole all the time.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Liar, liar, pants on fire
Said the poet in vain
Hanging high from a trapeze wire
In self-inflicted pain.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

i don’t want to be saved, i will never be happy. i don’t want to try, but don’t let me fall again. i cannot choose right or left

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Like the thing that you tried that you thought that you liked for a minute, then it all felt wrong. So you're changing again, all your clothes, all your friends, it’s the same as it ever was.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I think that I am just ill
with life, the same stale yet
fluctuating
factors.
- "Are You Drinking?", Charles Bukowski

Monday, January 10, 2011

and it's not what you don't have, it's the little you're given and how far you can run with that
She told me what she was drinking, told her what I was thinking.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

I’m an Emotional Idiot
so get away from me.
I mean,
COME HERE.

Wait, no,
that’s too close,
give me some space
it’s a big country,
there’s plenty of room,
don’t sit so close to me.

Hey, where are you?
I haven’t seen you in days.
Whadya, having an affair?
Who is she?
Come on,
aren’t I enough for you?

God,
You’re so cold.
I never know what you’re thinking.
You’re not very affectionate.

I mean,
you’re clinging to me,
DON’T TOUCH ME,
what am I, your fucking cat?
Don’t rub me like that.

Don’t you have anything better to do
than sit there fawning over me?

Don’t you have any interests?
Hobbies?
Sailing Fly fishing
Archeology?

There’s an archeology expedition leaving tomorrow
why don’t you go?
I’ll loan you the money,
my money is your money.
my life is your life
my soul is yours
without you I’m nothing.

Move in with me
we’ll get a studio apartment together, save on rent,
well, wait, I mean, a one bedroom,
so we don’t get in each other’s hair or anything
or, well,
maybe a two bedroom
I’ll have my own bedroom,
it’s nothing personal
I just need to be alone sometimes,
you do understand,
don’t you?

Hey, why are you acting distant?

Where you goin’,
was it something I said?
What
What did I do?

I’m an emotional idiot
so get away from me
I mean,
MARRY ME.
- Maggie Estep

Friday, January 07, 2011

Two teaspoonfuls,
and my mind goes
everyone can kiss my ass now—
then it’s changed,
I change my mind.
Eyes so sad, and infinitely kind.
- description of her eyes (Franz Wright)
If you hate the taste of wine, why do you drink it till you’re blind? And if you swear that there’s no truth and who cares, how come you say it like you’re right?

Thursday, January 06, 2011

And all you can hear is the sound of your own heart, and all you can feel is your lungs flood and the blood course. But oh I can see five hundred years dead set ahead of me, five hundred behind, a thousand years in perfect symmetry, a thousand years no getting rid of me.
it doesn't matter anymore
it shouldn't hurt

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

so long, lonesome

Monday, January 03, 2011

“Because, really, what was worse than lying wide-awake in the dark, watching your life drip away, one irreplaceable minute after another?”
It was then he heard his intuition say, we were all basically alone, despite what all his studies had shown. What was mistaken for closeness was just a case of mitosis

Sunday, January 02, 2011

And in shallow waters' end
I learned not to swim, but to lie

Saturday, January 01, 2011

"This fall I think you're riding forit's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling isn't permitted to feel or hear himself hit bottom. He just keeps falling and falling. The whole arrangement's designed for men who, at some time or other in their lives, were looking for something their own environment couldn't supply them with. Or they thought their own environment couldn't supply them with. So they gave up looking. They gave it up before they ever really even got started. [...]
Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from themif you want to. [...] And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry." The Catcher in the Rye
"I often feel like I want to think something but I can’t find the language that coincides with the thoughts, so it remains felt, not thought. Sometimes I feel like I’m thinking in Swedish without knowing Swedish."